Finding a Coven online or in real life
Joining an online coven can be a wonderful experience, but there are some warning signs you should look for to avoid the stress of a dysfunctional group.
Pagans and Wiccans are wonderful people who enjoy chatting with others of a like mind. They are almost always eager to help out those new to the path and usually offer sage advice to those who are “just in it for the spells.” However, there are rare occasions when a coven is dysfunctional. If you notice any of these warning signs within the online coven you have joined, consider leaving for a new, less stressful group.
Money
Be wary of any coven that wants you to pay for joining. As in all religions, there are some people who want to make money off of religious beliefs. The exception to this rule would be donating a dollar or two through an online service to help pay for the expense of running a pay-for email discussion list or a private message board. Another exception might be donating for the costs of a paper newsletter that is made especially for the coven you have joined. These things cost the HP (High Priest or High Priestess) money and it is only common courtesy to pay for your personal expense.
Personal Information
Never give out personal information online. There is no reason why the online coven needs to know your real name, address, or phone number. Oftentimes, however, members of an online coven do get to know each other well over the years and switch to calling and writing personal letters.
Product Links
Stay away from online covens where the HP wants you to buy an item only through them. For example, if the High Priest demands that initiates must buy the magical Jiggly Wiggly Wand through his link, don’t. Paganism and Wicca are not religions based on monetary gain
Control Issues
If you feel as though you are being pressured to do something you are not comfortable doing or if you’re made to feel guilty because you don’t have the time for daily coven activities, leave immediately. Covens are supposed to be a getaway from the stress of the outside world. If the coven you’ve joined is stressful, find a new one.
Power Struggles
Finally, power struggles are one of the leading causes of coven meltdowns. When you see two or more people battling for control of a coven, back away and don’t get involved. The situation will only get worse if coven members begin taking sides. Leave the coven and find a more peaceful group to join.
Bad Tempers
Let’s face it. Running an online coven is a lot of work, and some people just aren’t cut out for the job. If the person running the coven has problems with his or her temper, leave. You don’t need the stress.
Read more at Suite101: Online Covens: Situations to Avoid http://paganismwicca.suite101.com/article.cfm/online_covens#ixzz0qYNke6Cq
One of the most common things that I hear from the newly reborn pagan is that they are looking to find a Coven. I usually look at them and respond “Really? You’ve just found this path yet you’re already ready for Coven life? Amazing.” And, yes, my voice drips with sarcasm. Well, I only say that if I’ve heard it three or four times and the person just won’t shut up.
Here’s the thing, this newbie isn’t meaning any wrong, but they are horribly misguided. They’ve read a book that says the next logical step is to join a Coven. Damn the authours of those books. Coven life is something that is unique. It is a family. You are tying your life, soul, karma, whatever you want to call it to these other people’s for not only this life but for many more to come.
Also, don’t just try and join the first coven you see. Let’s say you have found this new and exciting path of paganism. You’ve voraciously read every book you could get your hands on and you have even worked up the nerve to go to a public ritual. Now, you see a group of people there and are told they are a coven. What should you do?
Well, if you have seen them and are interested by what you see you should go and talk to them. Most groups will chat with you for a bit. Try and strike up a conversation. But, remember, these people already have a Coven. They may not be as interested in talking to new people as new people are in talking to them. Do no be pushy, but don’t be standoffish either. Ask one or more of them out to coffee. Try and meet them in a social setting.
If after meeting more you like what you see of their personalities and their group dynamics you might enquire if they have a grove studies program of some sort. Many do have some sort of training. Some groups might just offer to take you into Coven. You should give that some serious consideration because these types of groups that offer something so sacred up so quickly often have a high turnover rate within the Coven.
The point of all this is that you need to see what type of people they are? Do you mesh on the important levels? Can you deal with the hierarchy that may exist within the Coven? Can you meet the commitments that would be expected of you within Coven? Spend a lot of time surveying the group. They will probably be doing the same with you. Also, feel free to ask about their credentials. Who trained them? How long have they been on this path? Some questions may not be answered and you have to see if you feel comfortable with that.
Main rule here… Use good judgment and go slow.
Copyright Artemisian Faerie Faith 2004
